Grandma

I started writing blog posts 4 years ago, and usually when I sit down to write something, I think of my Grandma, Lynn Hart.  I knew she read my blog, so I'd always ask myself, “ What will Grandma think of this? ”  I will miss so many things about my Grandma, who passed away at the age of 91 on March 15, 2018. Just one of those things will be knowing she sat and read what I had to say.

   Grandma has always been a constant.  The kids and I have been talking about memories a good bit lately, and I have come to realize that vivid memories of exciting moments with people are certainly nice, but often times our memories of the ones we love are not flashy. Sometimes our memories are more about a smile, a tone of voice, a loving presence... or maybe even something obscure like the smell of a sewing room.  

Grandma, Granddad, me, and my mom at my college graduation.

Grandma's southern properness and tactful advice, her listening ear and loving commitment to family have been there always.  I could tell you about how she studied voice and the organ in college, how she made beautiful cross stitch and needlepoint works, how she kept a tidy garage and how all of her food bags were neatly rolled and clipped before being put in the pantry, but none of the “things“ are what define her. She was our matriarch, a constant support, a woman of faith, a generous and loving soul.

Holding William

She is Grandma. She is great Grandma. 

My Grandma with her mom, two daughters, and their two daughters (I'm the one in the stripes).

    She is the one who made Christmas magical. She was the pillar in the room at every birthday, anchoring and rooting us to the love of our family.  She was the link we still had to her generation and to my beloved granddad. So, while I am so thankful she lived a long and full life before leaving us, it is very difficult to think about life without her here. 

1991 - Their daughter's 40th birthday party

  Grandma was a good listener. And she did not need to say much to make a big impact. One word could speak volumes. When I decided to have my first baby at home, she simply said “Even I was born in the hospital,“ and that’s all she needed to say for me to know exactly where she stood; and she respectfully left it at that.  There is only one time when I knew she disapproved of me. My husband and I were at her beach house with her, and Justin put his elbows on the table as we ate dinner. As I mentioned earlier, Grandma was a proper southern lady. Justin had to leave the beach to get back to work, and Grandma, in her tactful few words, let me know that I should help Justin work on his table manners. Well, I picked up my phone and called Justin that moment to tell him that he needed to keep his elbows off of the table (problem solved, right?). I hadn’t followed Grandma’s tactful ways… She let me know I had been impolite and that she expected me to be a more sensitive wife and boy did I cry! You never wanted to upset Grandma.

Justin and Grandma

   Grandma showed me how to sew and knit, though I have never mastered either skill the way she did. I am proud that my mom and I inherited some of her musical abilities, because her singing was angelic.  I felt proud when she told me that my voice was uniquely contralto.  I have loved watching her hold each of my children. Whenever we visited Great Grandma they would pull her cat toys out and play with them, shyly ask for a piece of her candy, or share one of her clementines.  She would ask the kids about their activities and listen to them share about their day. She was always open for a hug. 

Grandma and Daniel (I think!... one of our babies)

My Granddad passed away a year before we had William, our first child (nearly 11 years ago... and what an amazing man Granddad was!), and eventually, Grandma accepted my Mom's invitation to build an apartment in her home.  My mom has been an inspiring example of what it means to love and care for family.  She cooked Grandma meals, cleaned up after her cat, took Grandma to appointments, helped her recover from a broken ankle, and did all the daily mundane tasks that none of us will ever know about.  My mom did for Grandma what any of us could only hope someone would do for us in our old age, and what all of us should aspire to do for our family.

When Grandma came down with the flu at the end of January this year, her body could not recover from it.  The following month and a half, my mom put her life on complete hold so she could give Grandma as much comfort and care as possible.  

We enjoyed as many visits as we could get this past month and a half before our final goodbye.  Grandma would light up when the kids walked into the room, and even when she could barely speak, she would manage an "I love you," a sweet gift for her great-grandchildren.

We recently remembered the one year anniversary of Justin's dad's death.  We are trying to have the kids write and draw some of their memories of both Alan and Lynn so we can preserve those memories out of the swirl of their childhood experiences, so many of which are often forgotten.  It is painful to let go of the ones we love, but we are thankful for the celebration of Easter fast approaching in which we will sing "Christ is risen from the dead trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life!"  

My mom, Grandma, and Vera enjoying time at the beach.

Memory eternal, Grandma.  What a legacy of love and family you have given us!