A Mother and Her (Messy) Home: A collection of thoughts

  It seems many of us are looking for a magical formula for life.  What will make us happy?  What will keep the house clean?  What will make our children perfect?  What will make our marriage last?  If you are on Pinterest you might get bombarded with the answers to these questions in the form of life solving blogs. Here are just SOME of the titles of posts "Picked for me" that show up on my Pinterest page:
- You're doing it wrong: 10 Household chore hacks
- 5 resolutions for women who've lost themselves to motherhood
-6 signs you're raising irresponsible, entitled kids
-7 steps to an organized fridge
-17 habits of very happy moms
-37 ways to give your kitchen a deep clean
-10 things that can hurt your child's self esteem
and my personal favorite
- 15 best post pregnancy girdles
(oh, and there are SO many more... I just don't want to waste your time with a longer list!)

That's 117 ways to add stress and anxiety as we all wonder "Am I doing this right!?"  I recently read something about "How to love doing laundry" or equally appalling title, and the author discovered that doing a load of laundry every day made her world dramatically better than trying to have a "laundry day" when everything got all piled up... and I closed the article with a huff as I realized this was NOT going to make me love doing laundry.  Doing a little bit of something I don't like to do every day will not make it better than doing a lot of it once a week (and really I do laundry most days anyways...that's life with a large family).  I think changing my attitude is my best hope.

Too bad I can't always move this fast!  However, taking a time lapse video of your cleaning DOES seem to make it more fun, and it can motivate you to complete the task (I've only done it once...sample size of 1).  So, maybe try to record the kids or yourself using time lapse so you can enjoy looking back at your last 30 minutes squished into 15 seconds.
   Keeping up with the house is a pretty common topic for moms.  We feel overwhelmed trying to keep order and a socially acceptable level of cleanliness in our homes while also giving our children some undivided attention.  This is a constant battle and always will be for moms.  We feel guilty if we spend too much time cleaning, and guilty if we are living in mess.  There isn't a secret formula (except maybe a live-in maid).  We can share tips and share woes, but every day there will be dirty dishes, dirty clothes, food to cook, counters to wipe, bottoms to wipe, floors to sweep, and on and on and on.  It can be tiring doing these tasks every day.  It might be strange if it DIDN'T feel tiring (unless you are Monica from the show "Friends" and you like to clean).   
  Have you read Mrs. Piggle Wiggle?  I love that book.  When I was a kid I enjoyed pretending the evil queen would come check on my chores to make sure I'd done them well, and it made cleaning a game (like Marry Poppins!).  Occasionally I try to make a game of cleaning.  Mopping floors RARELY gets done at my house, but when it does get done it is only because a kid spilled a glass of water that we have to wipe up or because we make a game of it.  I either let the kids pour water in lots of different containers and afterwards we wipe up the spilled water (ta da!), or we "Wet Towel Race," which is our newly introduced mopping method.

  There were only minor meltdowns and tears during a set of races across our living room on wet towels, but I think the laughter balanced it out.
  When things just get really out of hand and the sink is full, laundry piled everywhere, toys strewn about, school papers all over the kitchen table, playdough crumbled on the floor, and the house is a flat out mess... that is when I am fulfilling my philanthropic duty to help other moms feel much better about their homes.  Sometimes it feels good to see someone else's mess, so I look at the bright side of being that "someone."  I admit, I took great pleasure in visiting two kid-less homes that were filthy.  I felt so justified in my messes.  So, don't look at it as a dirty house.  Look at it as a service to others.  And as my Mom always says "The dirt will always be here but the children won't."
   Lastly, and more seriously, I think cleaning can be an opportunity to grow spiritually.  After reading The Spiritual Life by St. Theophan the Recluse a few years ago, I learned how even the small daily "insignificant" tasks can be used to deepen our faith.  Unloading the dish washer can be a time set apart to pray.  Loading the dirty clothes into the wash AGAIN can be a time for me to reflect on my 'dirt.' I can confess and marvel at God's patience with me, His child, who makes messes and needs His help to clean me up again, and again, and again.  Just as I care for my children every day, so does God take care of me, though far better and without grumbling.  I don't always apply myself in this way as I go about the mundane tasks, but I believe there is a lot of beauty to be found in doing our 'duties' with love and with attention to our spiritual life.  I need to remind myself of that.
   So, there is no "Secret Formula" to being a mom or keeping the house clean.  I think we have an opportunity to learn selflessness, to bond together over our shared experiences, and to make the most of each day... even the housework parts.  
   ... And does anyone know if you can block the "Picked for you" pins on Pinterest?  I know it posts things based on what you've clicked on in the past, so I'm really trying not to click on any of those tempting titles (especially the girdles!).