Looking forward

  I've always felt funny talking about what I expect to have happen in the future... because it is, after all, unkown.  "We will be at the party Saturday!" we might say to a friend Thursday night, and then Saturday morning brings a stomach bug that lands us hugging the porcelain.  All those upset stomachs making a liar of me.  Everyone understands, of course, but it is still impossible to say what will come of tomorrow.  All this to say, I'd like to give some updates, but it is all about things to come, so let me start with "God willing," and then time will tell.

  A lot of people ask us about what is happening on our journey towards fostering.  We are working towards fostering through Justin's work (Chick-fil-A), and even though Winshape already has fostering homes in place, the company's paperwork has not been completed for employees (like us) to foster.  I didn't realize this was the case as we were completing our paperwork, and I think everyone thought CFA would be approved to be a foster agency quickly, but they are still in the process of approval.  Our paperwork has yet to be submitted to anyone.  Also, since I last updated, the primary case worker quit for a new job position.  The secondary case worker then left for maternity leave.  Last I heard they thought the state would finish CFA's approval process by July.  We are going to be traveling late July, so that will not be a good time for us to bring a child into our home.  Then in August school starts, which brings me to my next point.

   I've done a lot of thinking (and obsessing) about whether or not to keep the kids in the public school where William has been the last three years and Vera was last year.  I started to consider home school both because of some negative aspects of their current situation and some of the positive aspects of teaching them at home.  Overall their school is good, with high ratings and an immaculate building (looks new though I think it is over 15 years old).  I've been involved in the kids' classrooms as a volunteer and enjoyed observing all the kids when I go eat lunch with my children.  They've had some truly wonderful experiences at the public school.  My biggest issue with their public education was the discipline methods of the teachers (Each teacher is quite different! There are some fabulous teachers and others who...aren't).  Discipline in my children's classes was very public and fear/shame oriented, which had some devastating effects on William during his 1st grade year; I worked hard to protect Vera from that same damage during her kindergarten year and to help William heal during his 2nd grade year.  But battling the shaming methods of the teachers got the ball rolling in my head about whether or not this environment was the best for my kids; where would they truly thrive?  I began to get excited about the idea of working with them at home and actually knowing what they are learning about each day.  I got excited about the prospect of allowing them to learn at their own pace, since Vera is ready to soar into math but was stuck with 2+3= in the classroom.  I'm excited for my children to explore their interests.  In looking for a place for them to "co-op" one day a week in a more class-room setting, I then got excited about using the resources my church's school provides so my children can form closer relationships with friends from church while receiving some religious education as well.  There are pros and cons both ways.  Last week I did a little "home school trial," just to see if any major red flags jumped out at me (like "will this make me go crazy!?").  I really enjoyed our trial, and we've decided to home school next year.  I'm new at this, so naturally I'm nervous and still figuring things out, but I'm also excited... so are the kids.  Silas will be in pre-school 3 mornings a week, and Patrick will do a "mothers morning out" two of those mornings, so I'll have some good time set aside for just William and Vera... and at other times we will be juggling like I was last week.  

   So, with home school starting in August, Justin and I will have to see how full our plate is in regards to whether or not we will be ready to foster.  It may be that we will need to wait a few extra months, a year, or really I don't know when!  I'm reading the most fascinating book (I'll probably write a blog about it when I'm done), but the book tells about some children living in abuse, and as I read my heart still aches to scoop them up and bring them home. We want to foster, and I don't want to put it on the back burner to be forgotten; God willing we will figure out the right time.  I also want to be wise about what I can physically do in a day's time.  So we will pray for wisdom; we want to raise our current children and those yet to come with love, patience, and grace.  So, that is our fostering and schooling update.