How are you doing?  There is a lot of heaviness in the world right now.  There are some moments I feel the weight of that heaviness, the exhaustion, the pain, and there are others where I am laughing at my two-year-old pretending to be spiderman.  For the past two months, though, I have been daily in the transformative process of self-reflection, listening, and learning about racial injustice in this country.  The death of George Floyd, and the outcry that ensued, hit my heart at its depth.  In the past, I cared when I heard about racial injustice, but it always felt far away, isolated, historical, and frankly, I just didn't understand.  It is humbling that it took recent events to awaken many of us to the inequalities that still persist in our country, but here I am... awakening, learning, discovering my ignorance, changing.
   We are all born into a set of advantages or disadvantages, a set of perspectives and beliefs.  I have been taking the last few months to try and see the world from a different set of shoes.  Enlightenment can come from simply listening and empathizing with a different voice - someone who has walked a different path from your own.  This must be done in humility.  This must be done with a desire to truly love your neighbor and hear their hurt without being defensive or self-righteous.  It can be a painful process to see the hurt I have ignored; it is hard work to learn about the systems and laws I have overlooked that oppress African Americans and other minority groups.  It is uncomfortable unpacking mindsets, stereotypes, history lessons, and judgments that are wrong, that are racist, because, no one wants to be a "racist."  But this is a good and necessary work.  Can I invite you in?
   The #MeToo movement was eye-opening for me.  I heard a lot of downright sexist, degrading speech towards females growing up.  I was used to it.  I accepted it as 'just the way things are.'  And when women started to put their feet down to say "no, we won't continue normalizing this kind of speech and behavior," I was in awe.  You mean it doesn't have to be this way?  We can actually expect to be treated respectfully?  What a freeing and empowering experience that was for me to not just roll with the punches but raise the standard to see women treated with dignity.  And it is something our society will have to continue daily working on, as nothing is ever "fixed" overnight.  I bring this up to demonstrate how we can normalize and grow comfortable with things that are... not ok.  Things that are hurtful.  There are a lot of layers of racism embedded into the fabric of our nation that most of us are used to, might not even realize exist, have accepted... and it is time to call them out.  There is a lot of hurt we need to tenderly, genuinely listen to and address.
   I think one of the best ways to get started is by reading or listening to one of the many enlightening books that shed light on racism.  Here is the list of the ones I have read or will be reading soon:
 This book specifically deals with the historical role of the American church in the formation of or complicity in racist laws and views.  I highly recommend this read, which, among other things, helped me to more clearly see how and why the church is still so separated today.
 If you are interested in more information on how racism shows up in the church, this book was enlightening for me as Bryan Loritts, an African American pastor, shares his experience being a part of the evangelical church.
When my oldest son saw this book sitting on the kitchen counter he said "Whoa, why is that here?  We aren't racist.  We love others... why would we need that?"  We had recently gone as a family to march with OneRace in protest of racial inequality, after all.  I told him that yes, we try to always love others and do what's right, but that even still, racism can exist within us in ways we don't even realize, so I want to shed light on them.  "Oh, that's cool," he says.  One of the sentiments I was immediately inspired by from Ibram X. Kendi is that to be an antiracist means to be combating racism within our society and within ourselves... we don't have to be perfect to be an antiracist.  We just have to be willing to do the work to confront racism as we uncover it (including inside me).  Kendi offers an opportunity to see the world from his perspective in this book.
I have been listening to Latasha Morrison's podcasts and I can't wait to read this book.  As a Christian, I appreciate these resources that utilize our faith in this process.  Our God is a God of justice, mercy, and love.
Written by an Orthodox nun Katherine Weston, this book addresses race and reconciliation with history and spirituality.  A group from my church is using this book along with a myriad of videos and articles to discuss racial injustice.
Systemic racism is difficult to understand if you haven't read any of the history revealing it.  This book, one of the ones up next for me to read, highlights how our laws have oppressed African Americans through our "systems"... specifically redlining and housing.
Recommended to me by a friend who gained a lot of understanding and compassion from it, this is another book I'm making my way towards.
I listened to this book on audible.  It stretched me to see the world from a totally different perspective.
This book is next up on my audible.
   There are so many excellent resources available...a few clicks can reveal plenty more books to choose from.  If you read any of these and are looking for someone to chat with about it, I'd love to.  For some of us, we can see the problem that exists but feel powerless to create change.  "What can I do?" we ask.  These books have a lot a fantastic places to start.  You could even read one with your book club, your family...
And if you aren't into reading,
   This is a great video rundown of the history of race in America and a great place to start:

   One of the other things I've been inspired to do is to be much more intentional about having productive conversations and exposure with my children about African American culture, racial justice, and a more honest view of this country's history.  In the past, if I saw a book in the library about a black musician or artist, I would gladly check it out... but I didn't intentionally make sure we had black authors and multi-ethnic characters in our picture books each night.  I make sure I talk to my kids about sex often and honestly, I talk to them about faith and religion, and I talk to them about eating well and taking care of their bodies... and discussing racism is now a more intentional part of our parenting.  There are great book lists online you can pull from.  I like the idea of children growing up not knowing about injustices... being able to stay innocent, but as a dear friend pointed out "My family doesn't have the privilege of ignoring conversations about racism because we have to live with it each day." That was eye-opening and humbling for me.  I want to be a part of the solution, hoping that someday her children's families won't have to confront racism in their daily lives.  I am going to make mistakes.  But I am going to keep trying.

   I hope that if you have been learning like I have, that some of these resources might be helpful and that you'll be encouraged knowing you're not alone in this process.  If you have felt defensive, guarded, or confused about the topics of race that have surfaced these past few months, I hope that it will be a nudge to confront that with listening, learning, and self-reflection.